My Fight with Breast Cancer

When breaking bad news to people, I’ve always been of the School Of Thought which believes that you should just spit-it-out, as “they” say.  The sooner you relay the news, the sooner people can start to get over it.  However, after telling my parents that I have Breast Cancer, I’m beginning to think that I should have pulled the punch of my delivery a little and told them in a roundabout way. 

My Dad is a true-blue Republican…my husband is a hardcore liberal.  They couldn’t disagree more about anything that has to do with politics.  We try to avoid political discussions for the most part- at least while I have breast cancer. 

…but, I digress.  I thought I could break the news by saying something like, “Hey Mom and Dad.  I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’ve decided to vote straight-ticket Democrat in all future elections, no matter who is running.  Also, Ronald Reagan was a very mean man.”

I would continue: “Just kidding! I only have breast cancer.”

Instead, our conversation went just like this:

Me:  “Hi Mom and Dad!  How are you doing today?”

Mom and Dad in unison on speaker-phone:  “Great!  We’re on our way home from seeing your grandmother in Indiana.  How are things with you, our only daughter, our precious angel, our most treasured God-given gift?”  (Okay, I made some of that up.)

Me:  “Um…not so good.  I have breast cancer.”

There was silence followed by a thud, which is when I think my mother dropped the phone.  I could hear her screaming, “No!  Oh God No!” 

My dad was fumbling for the phone so that he could talk to me.  I heard the fumbling.  When he finally got back on the line, he sounded despaired and confused, but at least he wasn’t crying.  I told him the whole cancer story, while in the background, I could hear my mother crying and screaming.  How did she know I was’t joking?

Dad says he’s going to “book the next flight out to Arizona” so that he and my mother can be with me through this ordeal.  This should be good.