My Fight with Breast Cancer

Did I mention before that my husband is a neurotic crazy person?  Well, for once, his neurosis may have come in handy.  Since my cancer diagnosis, Michael has called every single person that he knows trying to get information and opinions about lumpectomies vs. mastectomies. 

I had already made up my mind that I was going to just have a mastectomy because Dr. S said that after they remove my breast, they will be able to pop an implant in while I’m still under.  That way, I won’t have to deal with what I like to call “The Uni-Boob Effect”.  Of course, when they do the mastectomy they will remove my nipple as well, so I will have to go back to the plastic surgeon for a series of procedures where they will construct and tattoo a new nipple.  Sounds nice, eh?  I can’t wait to for someone to ask me if I have any tattoos. 

“Yes, I do,” I’ll say. 

“Well, what’s it of?” they’ll ask. 

“A nipple.” 

Silence.

But, I digress.  All this talk about my nipple made me go off on a tangent.  Where was I?  Oh yes.  Michael has been worried sick.  Just as he was starting to go over the deep end, his friend from Mackinac Island, Jack called.  Jack put Michael in touch with a friend of his who is a Doctor of Oncology at Northwestern Medical School.  She is an extremely gracious person who spoke to Michael at 10:30PM about my diagnosis.  As soon as he read the pathology report to her, she interrupted him and asked, “How big is her tumor?” 

“About 3 inches, ” Michael replied. 

Incredulous, she stated: “Michael, you need to get her to another doctor right away.  I don’t know of any oncologist in the country that wouldn’t start Karen on chemo right away!  Surgery should come later.”

She then asked Michael to read Dr. S’s business card to her.  It stated that he was a “General Surgeon”. 

“He’s a General Surgeon?  That means that he does things like remove appendixes.  Call his office and find out how many mastectomies he has done.  If the answer isn’t ‘hundreds and hundreds’ I wouldn’t even consider him.  Karen really needs to see a Surgical Oncologist.  A Surgical Oncologist removes tumors.  I would get away from Dr. S if I were you!”

Michael called the surgeon’s office the following day and asked his chief nurse how many mastectomies the doctor had performed.  She hesitated a moment and then replied “a few.”

I guess it’s time to find a new surgeon…and fast.