My Fight with Breast Cancer

I have an appointment in the Radiology Department of the Mayo Clinic to have a “clip” inserted into the tumor in my right breast.  The clip looks a little bit like a staple, but smaller.  It’s purpose is to monitor how well the chemo will shrink my tumor, if at all.  It will provide the doctor with a “point of reference” when I have another Breast MRI down the road.

The doctor implanting the clip was actually a great guy.  Finally- someone who could crack a smile about good ole cancer!  I laid down on the table after I had changed into my Mayo Clinic robe of choice.  The Doctor first created a sterile environment by isolating my breast beneath some clean tissue and then he gave me “a local”.  He swabbed me with some iodine and prepared to insert the clip.  An ultrasound technician was on hand to help guide the doctor to the correct spot.  He had to push the clip in with a long needle-type tool. 

I confess: I wasn’t watching.  I was a little freaked out, actually.  Again, when in these situations, I tend to try to lighten the awkward mood.

As he was finishing and bandaging me up, the doctor asked if I had any questions.

Me (very seriously):  “Just one Doctor.  Is my career in Playboy over before it’s begun?”

Doctor (he can’t quite tell if I’m serious or not):  “Uh…I’m afraid so.”

Me:  “That’s too bad.  I was thinking of doing a ‘Girls Gone Wild’ type video.  Only I’d call it ‘Girls of the Mayo Clinic Gone Wild’.  It would feature women with Mastectomy and Lumpectomy scars.”

[ Yes, I realize this is probably in "poor taste" by most people's standards...but I have cancer. ]

Doctor:  “Well, if you ever get featured in a video or magazine like that, please let me know.  I will be the first to buy that issue.”

I could seriously love this man for indulging me.