Fighting Breast Cancer

Back when I was 19 years old, I was still living at home with my parents and dating Michael.  He was working as a Pastry Chef at a local upscale bakery and decided one day to stop by my house on his way home from work to drop off some eclairs that he made that day. 

When he arrived, my father was out in the garage working on one of our cars.  He told Michael to go on into the house, and said that I was upstairs in my room.  Meanwhile, my mother was just getting out of the shower as Michael made his way in our house.  Thinking that Michael was my father, my mother stepped out of her bedroom and into the hallway just as Michael reached the top of the stairs. 

Even though my mother was covered with a towel, she still felt exposed and screamed with embarrassment.  While all of this was going on, I was in my room with the music on, practicing my dance moves in the mirror.  Suddenly my door opened and there stood Michael holding a box of eclairs and wearing a strange look on his face.

“I think I just saw your mother naked.”

You may be wondering why I’m telling this story.  This is why:  Last night Michael woke me up in the middle of the night, frantic.  He had woken up because he was very dehydrated and got up to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.  At the precise moment that he opened the door to our bedroom, my mother was taking this 3am opportunity to use the restroom.  They met in the hallway facing each other.  Michael was completely naked. 

“Augh!  What are you doing?!?” screamed my mother in total shock.  She was actually…uh…accusatory with him, as if he met her in the hallway intentionally.  You know, to shock and terrify her.

“I’m just getting a glass of water!  I live here!”

Michael shut the door, giving up on the glass of water and fell back into bed– humiliated.  This was when he gently shook me awake.

“Karen!  Karen!  Your mother just saw me naked!”

I rolled over and said, “Good.  Now you’re even.”

Even when roused from a deep slumber, I can be quite witty.

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