I’ve always said that Michael has a motley crew of friends that he’s hung out with his whole life. There’s Lance Romance, Blaze, and Egan the Buddhist just to name a few. They all have these strange quirky personalities and I could tell story after story about each of them. I actually really like all of Michael’s friends and get along with them; which is considered unusual for a married woman, I’m told.
Anyway, Michael has a friend named Jeff. Of all of Michael’s crazy motley crew of friends, Jeff stands out the most. This isn’t because he’s particularly unique in looks or stature (although he does look an awful lot like Ross from “Friends”). What makes Jeff stand out is his insane personality and his risk taking behavior. He also always manages to convince my husband to follow along, God knows why. The picture I posted to the left was taken by Michael when Jeff convinced him to climb a small mountain with zero safety equipment. It was a spur-of-the-moment type thing; they were driving and Jeff made Michael pull over so they could climb. My husband almost died that day, but that is another story altogether. I forgave Jeff. I’m not a real worrier anyway.
And actually– and if you knew Jeff you would understand this statement– I would think, “If that guy is still alive after all the constant danger he puts himself in, well then I must have great odds!”
If you dare Jeff to do something, he will do it; no questions asked. Someone once dared him to jump through a raging bonfire. He immediately stripped down to his underwear, poured a beer over his head, got a running start and jumped through the fire; dislocating his shoulder in the process.
Jeff is legendary, almost supernatural. One of my favorite stories is that when he was a kid, his eyesight was poor and he had to wear glasses that were so thick they were like coke bottles. He was very spastic and nerdy-looking. He was one of those kids that bullies liked to target because he was little and he always had spit in the corners of his mouth.
But the bullies learned early on not to screw around with Jeff. This is because Jeff has Super Human Strength. If someone tried to fight with Jeff or steal his lunch money, he would immediately pound them into the ground and make them sorry that they even tried to touch him.
His strength isn’t the only thing that’s Super Human about him. One day when he was still young, he took off his glasses and threw them in the garbage. He declared that he didn’t need them anymore and to this day has perfect vision. Nobody can explain it, not even Jeff. My husband is absolutely mystified.
If all that weren’t enough. he can also climb a wall like Spider-Man and hang on to the most shallow crevice with just the tips of his fingers. (He climbs trees professionally.)
Jeff has entire lifetime of crazy situations. One time while he was in high school, he got angry with somebody on the road and purposefully rammed his mother’s station wagon into their parked car. He sped away and hid his mother’s car in the garage. When the police came around later that day, his mother stood in the doorway and wouldn’t let the police in or open the garage. She gave her son an alibi and said that he was with her the whole day.
Jeff was always very close with his mother. From what I’ve heard, she was an incredibly loving and patient woman (she would have to be with a son like Jeff). Unfortunately, when Jeff was in his early twenties, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. They tried to treat it, but she was too far gone. Jeff’s father couldn’t handle that his wife was dying. He fell into a deep depression and didn’t get out of bed for over seven years. I imagine that Michael would do the same thing…
So, when his mother was dying, Jeff moved home and took care of her. He had to change her clothes and bedding and administer her morphine. To this day, he won’t really talk about his mother’s passing. It is still too sad for him.
Jeff flew into Arizona a few days ago and he wants to go to chemo with me tomorrow.
This really concerns me. I told him that it’s really depressing and it takes about five hours (Jeff has a hard time sitting still) but he said he really wants to go. I guess he thinks that it will be cathartic for him to sit with me while I get my infusion. Perhaps if I show him that I’m beating cancer he will be able to open up and let go of some of his feelings about his mother.
I really hope I can help him.